Broken Charade
by FieryCaptainSpiderSanta
Summary: Tragedy has struck the Guardians. All Jack is left with is a single notebook.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N- So, this story popped into my mind while I was in the shower. I'm not entirely certain where I'm going with it, but I have a vague idea. I will warn you, though, this story is probably going to be rather depressing and (possibly) triggering. (Probably not, but I want to cover all of my bases) I just wanted to let you all know, before we ventured into this together.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own ROTG.**

North found Jack, sitting alone on the bed of the room he hated being in, but couldn't bring himself to leave. He pushed the door open gently. Jack didn't make any outward signs that he recognized the Russian's presence. North had a book in his hand, a small thing bound in soft black leather. A thin cord wrapped around it, keeping it shut. A tree was engraved on the front. Other than that, there were no decorations or writing of any kind. North held it out for Jack, but he didn't take it.

"Jack, it's hers," he said. "She left a note. She wanted you to read it."

He still didn't respond, so North set it on the bed in front of him. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but it simply came out as a tired sigh. He gave Jack one last concerned glance before leaving the room.

Jack stared at the book. After a long time, he mustered the will to take it, opening to the first page, where the name of the owner was written in neat print. A tear slid down his face as he stared at that page, pain and grief, sadness and longing weighed down his heart, just seeing those few words. Again, it took him a long time to open to the next page and read it.

* * *

 _Blood is not family. They say that you can't choose your family, but they're wrong. Of course you choose your family. Sure, in most cases, your blood is your family, but not all. Take me, for instance. My best friend, Alexis. I call her my cousin, consider her my sister. But we're not related, not really. Different blood runs through our veins. But we are family. Another example would be my mother._

 _I call her my mother, for sake of convenience and out of habit. But she lost that title. She lost that_ right. _It wasn't the fact that she punished me. No, it wasn't even that she didn't pause to think that there may have been a reason for my mistake. But I'm getting a bit ahead of myself. Perhaps I should explain the situation first._

 _This is not the first time something like this has happened. No, this has been happening my whole life. But I bore the burden. Because I didn't have another option. Especially once I had a little brother to take care of._

 _October 5_ _th_ _. My birthday. Not that my mother remembered. My brother and I had a long list of chores, but this story only pertains to two simple tasks: dishes and laundry. I'm not gonna lie, we didn't do it right. Hell, we messed up pretty bad on the laundry. But that was all my mother saw when she was punishing us. She never stopped to consider that there may have been more to the story._

 _While I had been doing dishes, my brother was folding the laundry. I had been checking up on him, and eventually, he finished his task, before I did mine. So, I asked him to put the clothes in a basket, so I could later take them upstairs and he could put them away. That was when the dishwasher- or, more correctly, glorified drying rack, as it didn't function- fell on me. Nothing broke, save the pot of a plant that had been sitting on top. But it hurt. And I would certainly feel the bruises for a while to come. Not that I wasn't used to that. Of course, it made a mess, which I had to clean up. Now, I don't know what my brother was doing when this all happened. But, I do remember telling him to get out of the kitchen, not wanting him to accidentally step on a shard and get hurt. But, I was understandably shaken up. Plus, I was scared,_ terrified _, of what would happen when my mother came home. (Luckily, it was my stepfather that came home first.) When you make a mistake at my mother's house, one of two things happens. The first is that she shrugs it off, saying it wasn't a big deal, or at least not making a big deal out of it. That was a rare occurrence, and you counted your blessings when it happened. The more common option was Number Two. Number Two is that she flips her shit, and you end up getting yelled at- or worse- and generally feeling a thousand times worse than before, no bigger than a speck of dust. And there is no in-between betwixt Numbers One and Two. It is one, or the other. Beyond my immediate worry as to my impending fate, everything in my life had been happening at once. I had just moved to a new school, entering high school for the first time. My grandfather was in the hospital, intensive care, to be exact, and I rarely got updates as to his condition. On top of all this, as soon as my mother got home, the four of us went to the movies, a rare treat in the household, like giving lobster to a starving person. So, when she asked if my brother and I had finished our chores, I said yes. In my mind, we had. I had seen the folded laundry. I had told him to put it in the baskets. I had finished the dishes and cleaned up the spill. That was that._

 _It wasn't until the next day, after school, that I found out that our whole mission had not been completed. By that time, my mother was yelling at us. My brother was in tears beside me, holding back sobs. And there was no trying to explain myself. Oh, no. That would get me yelled at even more. Or worse; beat._

 _Our punishment was to lose everything, what little we had. All our spare time was to be spent cleaning- not that it wasn't already- slowly earning back our freedoms. She even mentioned taking away my books, though I know not whether she will actually go through with it or not._

 _Day One of cleaning, and not five minutes in, my brother of seven years old did the worst thing he possibly could: he made a mistake._

 _I saw her beat him, saw the look of pain and fear contort his young face. I heard his cries, the sickening sound of her hand hitting him. Then, I heard her yell. She screamed, she cussed, at it was all aimed at this poor seven-year-old that made a mistake in the cloud of his thoughts. A moment later, and I'm not entirely sure what happened. She made a sudden movement, and I flinched, hard. My littler brother started crying again, all but jumping into my arms in an attempt to escape her wrath._

 _(I would like to make a note here. To all the parents who hit their kids- stop. There are other ways to discourage bad behavior. It does not make us love you any more, nor does it show your love. I have never loathed my mother more than looking back at the times she hit either one of us. It does not make us respect you. Often, you are twice our size, up to five times our age. There is no respect to be earned from hitting a child. The only thing it may do is instill fear. But is that truly how you want your child to look at you?)_

 _It was not until later that I made a decision that would change me, and my outlook on my mother/daughter relationship. I decided I would turn the other cheek. I would be her little slave. But I would not be her daughter. No, I would not be the daughter of such a woman. And I would never, under any circumstances, let her lay a hand on my brother again. In the solitude of my room, the dark of the night, I shed my tears. For I would do all in my power to never let her see me cry again. I would not show her weakness._

 _I try, with all my might, not to pick a favorite parent. But I would, without hesitation, choose my father, every time. For my father always listened to me. He never hit me. When he did punish me- though it was rare that he did- they were reasonable and corresponded with the crime._

 _You may have noticed that I spoke of my father in the past tense. That is because he died, years ago. It was horrible, and the memory haunts me to this day. The worst part was that it left me at the mercy of my mother, for years to come._

 _I can easily tell you the last time I had a good day, came home, and was able to fall asleep happy: October 4_ _th_ _. Years ago. It was USA Day at school, the second day in Spirit Week, and I was happy to talk about some of the people I had seen, the things we learned in class. My aunt had also come out from Iowa that day. I had dance, and shared laughs with my father. Sure, there was a little bump in the road, but it is not until writing this that I remember it._

 _On the contrary, I cannot tell you the last time this happened at my mother's. From my mother upsetting me, to my impossible lists of chores, to my annoying (but endearing) little brother. Even the state of our house, it being the shitshow it is. Sure, I've fallen asleep content, my eyes tear-free, but never truly happy._

 _My mother also has a tendency not to listen. She'll interrupt, yell, speak, and basically turn the whole situation back around to make_ you _the bad guy. The one time I was able to get my whole story out, I had had to specifically request that she not interrupt. Looking back, I'm amazed she listened. And, if you're in trouble, you quickly learn to keep your mouth shut. I learned a long time ago to simply accept my punishment. It doesn't matter how innocent I am. It will only be made worse by trying to prove my innocence._

 _October 6_ _th_ _was no different. My mother never stopped to consider that there was a reason behind our mistake, beyond the two of us just fucking around. But, it did not matter, for we were to suffer our fates no matter what we did. So, I made my resolutions, and hope to stick to them._

 _I know not who will read this. I may share it with the world, so that they may learn from my words. Perhaps only a select few. Perhaps no one. These words may never leave the pages of this notebook, and the depths of my mind._

 _These words aren't the whole story. No, there is more here that I could say, but I shan't. Not on this topic, not on this day. But, I want these parting words, if nothing else, to be remembered:_

 _Blood does not equate family. And though these words may be written in the aftermath of anger, they ring not any less true._

* * *

Jack closed the book, not able to read any more. He set it on the bedside, turning the light off and curling up on top of the covers. He clutched a necklace in his hand, holding it close to his heavy heart. He squeezed his eyes shut, thinking about the girl he had known, and letting silent tears fall into the night.

 **A/N- The Guardians will make more of an appearance later. For now, I'm mostly setting up the character. What will be seen by the Guardians (specifically Jack) is small, and not in italics.**

 **In case you're confused, Jack is reading the notebook in the future, after all the events which were written have passed. The picture will be more clearly painted as the story goes on. Just stick with it, please. I'm kinda experimenting here. I haven't written anything like this. So, any feedback would be greatly appreciated.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N- So, usually I try to keep all my chapters about the same length. But, since I'm dealing with journal entries here, the lengths are probably going to vary more so than my chapters usually do.**

 **Now that that is out of the way, time for reviews!**

 **WinterChrystal1009: Glad you like it! Yeah, I'm pretty nervous about the way this is set up. I'm used to writing characters interacting, laying out who is who from the very beginning. But, I'm optimistic as to how this is going to end.**

 **Guest: Thanks! I'm definitely trying for that 'aura of mystery'. Not quite sure how that's turning out, though. XD**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own ROTG.**

It was a few weeks later. Jack hadn't quite forgotten about the journal, but it had faded slightly in his memory. At first, he simply couldn't bear to continue reading. But, one day, he found it, hidden in the drawer in which he had placed it. He found that he felt compelled to open the book and keep reading.

* * *

 _I have not written in a while, as it has been a while since something of import has happened. It has been about a month since the incident I previously wrote about. All has gone back to normal. In all honesty, I had almost forgotten about this journal. But I am glad I have found it again._

 _Vows are an important thing. They are what make a person. If you are not true to your vows, then they are just empty, meaningless words. To others, that makes you a bad person, a liar, someone who cannot be relied on. But, if you break the ones you make to yourself, then that makes you nothing. For the vows we make to ourselves are the ones that shape who we are and who we become, for better or for worse._

 _I have kept my vow. I quietly do as asked of me, not flinching when struck or yelled at, not letting a single tear well up in my eyes in the presence of that woman. Furthermore, I shall refer to her as 'Woman'. I will not disclose her name, but I cannot keep referring to her as my mother, for she is not. She is my birth-giver, nothing more. I have corrected anyone who has called me her daughter. Even her, though it is quietly, whispered under my breath so she cannot hear. I know that if she does, then I will be punished._

 _But today was the last straw. It is one thing to take the abuse when you have solidified your walls. It is another to intentionally place yourself in the way of harm for another. It is one of the hardest things to do. It is in human nature to keep ourselves, above all else, safe. I understand now, why giving up your life is called the 'Ultimate Sacrifice'. You are giving up everything- though, one could argue, there are worse fates than death. I believe that those sacrifices are even greater than dying for someone else. But, to die for someone else, you are going against the very grain of Humanity. You are showing great strength- if not of physical, then most certainly of the emotional, psychological, and mental varieties- and even greater love and determination. I can now say, though not to the fullest extent, what that feels like. Every fiber of your being_ screaming _at you to save yourself. Even my mind and heart were telling me to stay out of harm's way. But I couldn't. For that would have left my brother to face the danger alone._

 _Today, I had had a rare moment to myself before Woman got home from work. I was in the living room, reading on the couch. My homework was done, as well as my chores. My brother was doing his own homework, having only gotten home about ten minutes before._

 _Then Woman came home. I jumped off the couch, unsure as to whether I would get yelled at for not doing something. Luckily, I wasn't. It was a rare moment of her ignoring me._

 _Instead, she turned to my brother. She asked if he had turned in a paper to his teacher, but instead found it in his green folder. She got very mad at him, yelling and screaming like she does. She hit him, before I could do anything, smacking him multiple times upside the head before I could intervene._

 _I would like to be able to say that, at that moment, I didn't care about myself. That I cared more about keeping my promise to my little brother, to never let Woman hit him again. And I_ did _. I did care about that vow. But- and, this, I'm much less proud to say- it took me a full minute- at least- before I gathered up the strength, will, and courage to step between Woman and my brother. She was_ furious _. At first, she simply tried to push me aside. But I didn't budge. I couldn't. If I moved, her wrath would return to my brother, and I couldn't let that happen._

 _So I took the abuse. Every hit. Every cuss. But I stood my ground. I was bruised and bloodied by the end, but her anger abated, and none of it was directed at my brother. She didn't feed me that night. But I was okay with that. I fed myself, after they had all gone to bed. But, it is lying here in the meager light of my bedside lamp, writing this entry, that I have made another vow._

 _My brother and I will not live here any longer. I will find a way to get us both out of here. I don't care how I have to do it. But I_ swear _, on all I hold dear, that I_ will _find a way to get both myself, and my brother far, far away from this place._

 _Technically I'm only sixteen. Legally, I cannot care for myself or my brother. But I have been doing that for years already. Since the day that he came home, it has been my job to care for my brother. I was even held back a year from school because I was at home watching him the first few months, before Woman finally put him in daycare. So, I know that, though the eyes of the law don't see it, I'm fully capable of protecting and providing for myself and my brother._

 _There are people, at my school. Druggies and alcoholics. Though I loath associating with them- and even they make no notice of me, like every other student and teacher there- I know that they will play a key part in my plan. I'm going to need an ID at some point in our new life. So, I'm going to need to procure a fake one, one that says I'm eighteen. Knowing the types of people the stoners are, they will most definitely have them, and have a way to get them. The only problem is that I know that I will have to pay them in some way. I have very little money, all of which I'm going to need to start a new life. So, I suppose that my very first step is going to be getting a job. Scraping up enough money to get a fake ID, and then get myself and my brother away from here._

 _It may take a while. But I know that I can do it. I_ have _to do it. For my own sake, but more for the sake of my brother._

* * *

Jack blinked, staring at the entry he had just finished, disbelieving of all she had gone through. He knew that she was strong. But this… she was even stronger than he knew. She was very different in the two entries he had read, than when he had met her. He understood why she didn't want to talk about her past. And he was glad to get to know her better. He just wished it was _her_ telling him, not the pages of a book, written by a girl years gone.

He set the book on the bedside table, turning off the light. He laid back on the covers and, though he didn't need it, soon fell into a deep, sorrowful sleep.

 **A/N- So, tell me what you all think! Until next time, fave, follow, review, and PM me!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N- I hope you all realize how hard this is for me to continue writing. I'm, like,** ** _crying,_** **writing this. But, I have an idea for the final chapter already. So, on we move to that. I'm determined to finish this, no matter the amounts of tears shed.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own ROTG.**

One clear night found Jack once again at the Pole. It had been roughly a month since Jack had brought snow. The other Guardians had tried to convince him to go out and bring joy to the children, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. Not yet. It still felt… wrong. Each snowflake he made reminded him of her, slipping pin after pin in his heart.

So, there he was, in the middle of the night, the moon shining down on him, on the roof of the workshop. The Man in the Moon had, of course, been as silent as ever. Jack looked up at the moon, silently asking what he was supposed to do now, how he was supposed to survive this pain. He suddenly had the urge to stand up, and he did, climbing ( he hadn't flown since what happened) back down to the room. He walked over to the bedside table, not entirely sure of what he was doing, and found himself picking up the journal.

He stared at it for a moment, before climbing back out the window and onto the roof. He sat, cross-legged, and opened to the next entry.

* * *

Today is it. I've finally made enough money, and got a fake ID, along with a few other odds and ends that I'll need to get out of this place. I pulled all of my money out of the bank, and now carry it all on me in cash. I know, it's not the best idea. But the only credit card I have as of now is linked to my mother's account. I'll have to make a new one when we get where we're going. The stoners and emos were oddly helpful, most of them pretty good people (though I was offered quite a few different substances during their time helping me, not that I took any). They seemed to understand my need for getting away, though they did not know the reasons why. I had made a few good friends with them. If it were simply myself that I was doing this for, then their attempts to get me to stay may have worked. But, this is for my brother, so I cannot go back on my promise to him, though he wouldn't know it if I did.

I'm not entirely sure how I'm going to convince him to do it, though. He's young, and, regardless as to what she's done, it's still in his naive nature to love her, need her, and want to stay with her. But, I'll have to. For his own safety and wellbeing, I'll have to.

I already have all my bags packed. I had the bus tickets. We would live in a small town a state away from our current Cincinnati, Ohio; a place called Burgess, Pennsylvania. I looked into it. It's a small town, with a good school. My brother would go to school, but I would, at this point, drop out. It had nothing left to offer me. I couldn't go to college like I had always wanted, but that was okay. I was good at the grocery store where I worked, and they were almost always hiring. And I was a proficient writer and artist. With any luck, I'd be able to sell something, maybe publish a book. I'd be able to pull in a bit more money doing something that I loved. And that was all anyone ever wanted. That was something I couldn't get here. And I'd be giving my brother a brighter future than what he had now. That was the important thing, the entire point of running away. To have a brighter future.

I'm writing a note to Woman, and a separate one to my stepfather. I know that it will hurt them when we leave. In their own way, they love us both. Personally, it is harder for me to leave my stepfather than Woman. He was always kinder to me, helping me with my chores. He didn't agree with the way Woman treated me, and I had had to give my brother my headphones on multiple occasions so he didn't hear the fighting between Woman and my stepfather.

In the note to my stepfather, I told him almost everything. I couldn't tell him where we were going, but I could tell him why we left. I knew that he would understand. I asked him to keep Woman from finding us, to let us live out our lives. I told him it was the best for both my brother and me, and that neither of us harbored bad feelings towards him. I said that I loathed having to cut off contact with him, but I knew that Woman would find us through him. I didn't tell him that I was changing my name, though. I couldn't keep this one. Mostly because this was a new life I was starting. A clean slate. I didn't want anyone to know of my past life, and changing my name made it easier. I won't make my brother change his name, though I will encourage him to do so. At the very least, I hope for him to change his last name.

In the note to Woman, I thanked her. I thanked her for giving me a roof over my head for so long. I told her I harbored no hard feelings towards her. But I told her that I couldn't stay here any longer, nor could my brother. I told her not to look for us, for I knew how to cover my tracks. I told her that my brother and I would both be safe and okay. She knew that I was fully capable of taking care of myself and my brother. I told her that maybe, someday, we would meet again. But it would not be a mother and a daughter reuniting. No, it may be a mother and a son reuniting, as my brother would most likely want to see her again someday. But I told her that I no longer saw myself as her daughter. I told her to take care of herself, live her life. Raise a new family with my stepfather, but treat this one right. I told her that she would be okay, though I knew this would haunt her to her dying day.

I think I know how I'm going to convince my brother. I'll tell him a lie- though it pains me to do so- about Woman being the one to send us away. It will be night when we leave, so he'll be disoriented. By the time he realizes what's happening, it will be too late to turn back. It won't be hard.

Even now, as I write this, tears come to my eyes. Just the idea of doing this is hard. Not for myself, as I would make this decision in a heartbeat. I would disappear into the night without a second thought, never looking back. But I know that it is going to hurt my brother, that he is going to feel heartbreak and betrayal. He might not understand why this happened, why I did what I did. I will do my best to make him understand, though. But the knowledge of what this is going to do to him makes this a thousand times harder for me. Makes leaving behind everything I know seem daunting, an impossible task. But I must. I have to. I don't have a choice.

Tonight, my new life begins.

* * *

Jack closed the journal, able to feel the emotions that must have been warring inside her, the guilt eating her away even though she knew it was better for her and her brother. He had died for his sister, but he hadn't known he would. This seemed so much harder. To give up everything you knew, to do something that you knew might make someone you love hate you. With every new thing he learned about her, he realized how little he really knew. He had seen this cold girl who blocked out the world, but who really had a heart of gold. He hadn't seen the hardships or suffering she had gone through that had made her that way. He had seen someone headstrong and stubborn, always so determined, but he hadn't seen how strong she truly was to keep going day by day. He had seen someone always ready to fight for her friends, but he hadn't seen that that was because she had already lost so many people she cared about.

With every new thing he learned about her, the pain of her loss grew more and more, as he realized he was falling more and more in love.

 **A/N- This one. This chapter. Made me cry. Especially thanks to my playlist. Like. Fuck. This hurts.**

 **On the bright side. Almost 100 views. Woo.**

 **I'm sorry, I'm very sad now.**

 **That's all I have to say. Until next time, fave, follow, review, and PM me.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N- Okay. This one was a bit better. Sad at first. But I'm good now.**

 **Also, I freaked the** ** _fuck_** **out of my sister. XD Oh, the power of the Macabre side of Tumblr... I, along with her, my mother, and my stepfather, are all deeply disturbed now. (Not that we weren't before, just... more so)**

 **Reviews!**

 **WinterCrystal1009: I know. It** ** _seriously_** **hurts to write this story. Personally, my home life isn't** ** _awful_** **. Yes, this story was inspired by reading a journal entry I wrote a few months back- I found it recently when cleaning my room- when my mother had upset me, but it is** ** _highly_** **embellished. That being said, though I'm a stranger, I want you (and anyone else who may be reading through this comment) that I am always open to listen. (According to my friends, I apparently give good advice, and am good at listening. Personally, I don't know, but I'm always open to giving an ear) Sometimes it helps, having someone listen. And sometimes it's easier when it's not someone you know, or can see. That being said, I'm glad you're enjoying the story!**

 **TPAWC: I'm not replying to all three reviews separately. Sorry, Nacho, you get one. XD Glad you're liking it. AND I SHALL NOT STOP WITH THA GODDAMNED FEELS! IT IS PART OF THE STORY AND MY DEMONIC NATURE SUCK IT UP BUTTERCUP!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own ROTG.**

Jack locked himself in the room the next day, not up to being bothered by the others. Instead, he decided to read more of the journal.

* * *

This is just a small update. I apologize in advance to anyone who is reading this for the messy handwriting. I'm writing on the bus, and it's not exactly the smoothest ride.

Getting out of the house had been relatively easy, in the sense that Woman and my stepfather had no clue that we were gone. I had almost backed out of my plan, though, the emotional strain taking its toll. My brother hadn't put up much of a fight. It was roughly one o'clock in the morning when I had woken him up to leave. My mother woke him up every night at midnight to make him go to the bathroom, so I knew I would have to make my move after that.

My brother was rather disoriented, but I couldn't bring myself to lie to him. I told him we were gonna play a game, go far away, live a better life. I said so many things, making it sound like a wonderful adventure, and he was so tired, he just went along with it.

Even now he sleeps on my shoulder on the bus. We get a few looks from the other passengers- there are seven of us, total, including the driver- though no one says anything. Not that that is to be expected.

I look out the window from time to time. Seeing the land go by, everything feels so surreal. I saw the Now Leaving Ohio sign a ways back. I know that we'll be okay. That's the mantra I keep saying in my mind. We'll be okay. We'll be okay. We'll be okay. But, to be honest, I don't know if we will. For once, I'm well and truly afraid of what the future holds for us.

But I'm more afraid of what my brother is going to think of me now.

* * *

The first day of our new lives is officially coming to an end. I'm watching the clock turn to midnight, even as I write. I'm tired, but I can't seem to fall asleep. It's been a long day, unpacking and getting everything set up. I was able to find a small apartment for pretty cheap. It doesn't have much; one bedroom, a small bathroom, a tiny kitchen, and a living room. But that's okay. We don't need more than that. Today I got my brother signed up for school, as well as going and getting myself a job at the grocery store. I was able to pick up some food while I was there, too. I was rather happy to find that the apartment came lightly furnished, though it cost extra. One bed (I bought an extra blanket at the store, and made my brother take the bed; I'm sleeping on the floor) a small TV, a coffee table, and a couch, as well as kitchen appliances. Not much, but, again, all that we need.

I know that my grocery-store salary probably isn't going to be able to cover everything, though. I'm thinking of signing up for the local food bank. I know that it would help a lot, to have that extra bit of food coming in each month.

I had to comfort my brother before he fell asleep. I held him as he cried, longing for his mother. He didn't see the tears rolling down my face, didn't know that my heart was shattering into a million tiny pieces as I held him, as he sobbed into my shirt.

But we can't go back. There's only forward from here. The hard part, with any luck, is behind us. Things will get better.

They have to.

* * *

 _Today was my brother's first day at school and my first day at work. It wasn't too bad. My brother says that the day went well. He even has new friends. One boy in his class, name Jamie Bennett, reached out to him. Included my brother in his group of friends. I was happy to hear that my brother was making friends. It would be good for him, make all of this easier. Honestly, I thought it would take longer for him to start to adjust._

 _I, myself, have gotten quite a few nasty looks. I suppose people assume that my brother is actually my son, and that I was a teen pregnancy. But, I can handle that. I'm used to being ignored. And I'm perfectly fine with it._

I was rather surprised, though, when two of my co-workers approached me during the lunch break, both about my age. One of them was a girl, kinda large, half of her head shaved. She was pretty outgoing; we have the same sense of dirty-minded humor. Her name was Blu.

The other was a boy. His name was Nathan, though he was introduced as Fig. He appealed to my other side, the more juvenile, more innocent humor. The three of us became friends. They asked where I came from, but quickly accepted that I didn't want to speak of my past. We simply changed the topic, talking nonsense and just having fun.

Honestly, it was the best time I've had in a while.

* * *

Jack smiled slightly at things turning up for them. Though it was in the past, he felt like it was all happening right then, like he was there. He wanted them to have a peaceful, happy life. He frowned, reality coming back to him. There had been no happy ending, certainly no peace. It made him even sadder than before to think about.

 **A/N- So, yeah. That's that. Hope you all liked it! XD We're getting Jamie in there! Hopefully, Jack and the Guardians will be coming soon! ;)**

 **BTW, I've been listening to the _Moulin Rouge_ soundtrack. Good music. Good movie. I highly recommend. XD**

 **Well, until next time, fave, follow, review, and PM me!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N- I'm pissed as fucking hell. I'll respond to the reviews next time. I don't wanna be mean to you guys in the author's note.**

The other Guardians were beginning to become concerned. Jack hadn't come out of the room in a little over a month. The loss had hit them all, but him harder than most. There hadn't been a snowstorm since the incident. But, try as they might, he wouldn't leave the room, just sitting in there, clinging to the last thing he had from her.

* * *

 _It's been a little over a month since we moved here. My brother is doing well in school, and has many new friends. I'm happy for him. He still misses his mother, though, which is understandable. But, he comes to me, and I comfort him, telling him that everything will be okay. And for once, I actually believe it. Money isn't as tight as I had originally thought it would be. And, though I still haven't made any new friends, I still have Nathan and Blu. We've become rather close, though I still won't tell them about my past or where I come from._

 _Today, my brother came home asking about fairy tales, stories like Santa and the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny and Jack Frost. I was a bit surprised that he still believed, but I was happy to indulge. Apparently, his new friends believe, too. Especially Jamie._

 _My brother said that he has met one of them. He says that he plays with Jack Frost a lot. I laugh, knowing that this is just the pretend fantasies of young children, but I love hearing the fanciful stories he weaves._

 _Winter has fully set in here in Burgess. Snow blankets the ground and frost covers the windows. I find it to be quite beautiful, and love this time of year. People here are so kind, even more cheerful this time of year. I'm used to the holidays bringing an extra round of joy, but this is even more than what I'm used to._

 _Not that I'm complaining. Many of the neighbors have brought us cookies, one even gave us lasagna (which was delicious, by the way.) At first, I hadn't known how to tell my brother that we might not be able to have a big Christmas dinner like he was used to. But, while my brother and Jamie were playing in the park, I had talked to Jamie's mother. She had heard about my dilemma, and insisted that we come over for Christmas , it was a tradition in their neighborhood that everyone comes together in a big potluck, which allowed all the children to celebrate together. Personally, I think that's a wonderful idea. For the first time in a long time, I feel the giddy expectation of a child, counting down the days until Christmas arrives._

* * *

 _Today something strange happened. I was on my way home from work, walking along the icy roads. I can only blame myself for not paying attention, but I was so lost in thought that I didn't notice the ice until it was too late. I slipped, but I fell off the curb as well. I was in the road, but luckily there weren't any cars. I began gathering my fallen belongings, and didn't notice the car screaming down the road._

 _In all honesty, it should have hit me. I froze, terror gripping me so tight I couldn't move, could hardly breathe. My thoughts went to my brother, who would be all but orphaned. I braced myself for the car to hit, for my life to end. But it never came._

 _There was suddenly ice beneath me, and a strong gust of wind- stronger than what was natural for the clear day out. It was the kind of wind you feel during hurricanes, that can lift the roof off a house without a second thought. The wind hit me, making me slide across the ice to safety. As soon as I was out of the way of the car, the wind stopped, and the ice melted. I sat there for a moment, stunned, but the passersby all hurried to me, wanting to make sure I was okay. In all physical respects, I was, and still am. But I simply cannot wrap my head around what happened. There is no logical explanation for it._

 _And I've noticed other little things like this. Snowballs hitting people out of nowhere, appearing out of thin air on the ground. The grouchiest person suddenly full of joy. Amazing, unnatural designs in the frost. Paths of ice laid out in a specific pattern in a matter of seconds, though there had been no water and the temperatures were above freezing. All this I had noticed, but hadn't given any thought to, until today._

 _But now… I can't ignore them anymore. There is something strange going on in this town. And I intend to find out what._

* * *

 _I still haven't figured out the strange winter magic surrounding this town. My brother and the other children insist it is Jack Frost. They even talk to thin air, like there is someone there. It doesn't seem like an imaginary friend, but I'm not inclined to believe them. There's no such thing as Jack Frost._

* * *

 _I found a lake today. My brother is sleeping over at Jamie's, so I decided to go for a walk. There are woods near here, easy to get lost in. Luckily I have a pretty decent sense of direction._

 _I don't know how exactly I happened across it, but I had found myself in a clearing. In the middle of the clearing was a small lake, more of a large pond, really. It had thick ice on it, plenty thick enough to walk on. I stood in the middle of the lake, and it felt so surreal. The peace of winter around me, the icy kiss of the air, the snow blanketing everything around. Even as I had stood there, a gentle snowfall had begun, adding another layer of magic. I found myself laughing, feeling extremely at peace and happily content._

 _Then something strange happened. Intricate designs swirled out across the ice, glowing a faint blue- I almost hadn't seen it- and covering the lake. I had watched it swirling, and I knew that that wasn't natural. It couldn't be. But, if that was true, then what was it?_

 _I've not come across any other explanations. As each day goes by, I find myself believing more and more in the fantasies of the children._

Jack closed the book with a yawn. He smiled faintly. It was interesting, seeing the thought process she had gone through, the stages of noticing that something was wrong, trying to find a logical solution, and slowly beginning to accept the magic of the world. He set the book on the stand, before closing his eyes and falling into a peaceful sleep, the first one he has had in a long time.

 **A/N- Fave, follow, review, and PM me! *fakes a smile but is secretly plotting multiple murders in her head***


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N- Sorry about last time, guys. XD Yeah... I was** ** _super_** **pissed. (On a totally related note, there is now an entire page of my notebook dedicated to writing tortures in Enochian. 'The exposed organs glistened with the scarlet blood'... I'm a just a smidge messed up. XD)**

 **Okay, now we'll reply to ALL the reviews we missed last time!**

 **TPAWC: HAHAHAHA I HATH TAMED THE DEMON! I SHALL NEVER STOP! XD Luv ya, too, sis!**

 **TPAWC: SUCK IT UP BUTTERCUP! I POST WHEN I BLOODY FEEL LIKE IT! XD you 'swesr'? And, I have** ** _no idea_** **what you're talking about. I'm** ** _always_** ** _*super nice*_** **to my characters, teehee. ? ﾟﾘﾇ** **? ﾟﾘﾈ** **? ﾟﾘﾈ** **? ﾟﾘﾈ**

 **WinterCrystal1009: No problem. I figured you had someone to talk to, I just like to let people know that I'm always open, too. I'm glad you like the story, though! Thanks! :D I'm turning fifteen soon, December 10th.**

 **WinterCrystal1009: Yep, she's beginning to see the magic! XD The suspense is all part of the mystery, that shall be revealed at the end... (translation: I'm too lazy to choose a name yet. XD But, it fits with the story, soooo...)**

 **Okay. That was all. Time for the story!**

 _ **Update:**_ **Sorry for the lack of formatting last time! Usually it keeps all the formatting, I don't know why it didn't this time. Again, sorry about that, and thanks to WinterCrystal1009 for bringing that to my attention!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own ROTG.**

"Jack, you must bring snow to the children," North insisted. "You cannot let them stop believing."

Jack shook his head. "I… I just can't, North."

"Would she really want you doing this to yourself?" North asked gently.

Jack sighed. "Yeah, well, she's not exactly here to tell me, now is she?"

* * *

 _I visit the lake every now and_ then, _when my brother is out playing with his friends. Nothing like what happened the first time has happened again, but being there still leaves me with an almost magical feeling. I like to stand in this one spot, not quite in the middle. I don't know why I like standing there, but I always feel drawn to it. It fills me with a sense of wonder, but also a twist of sadness. But I stand there, in that spot. And I don't move, I hardly breathe, and I don't make a sound. I simply listen. To the nature around me._

 _Sometimes, I hear a distant laughter. It's two people, always the same two. One is a boy, the other a girl. It sounds like the boy is older. It's always very faint, but sometimes I hear a conversation._ _The words circle in my brain, to the point I remember them almost perfectly,_ _like the lyrics to a haunting song._

 _"Jack, I'm scared," says the girl. It always starts here. I hear the sound of ice crackling._

 _"I know," replies the boy. "I know, but it's going to be okay. We're gonna have a little fun."_

 _"No we're not!" the girl cries in protest. The ice continues to crackle._

 _"Would I trick you?" the boy asks._

 _"Yes! You play tricks all the time!" the girl accuses._

 _"Okay, okay, but not this time," the boy says. There's a pause, but the boy continues a moment later. "We're going to play hopscotch. Like we do every day. Ready? It's easy. Just one-" the ice cracks, and I hear the boy hesitate before he continues- "Woah! Two! Three! Okay, your turn. One…" The ice cracks a bit. "That's it, that's it. Two… Three!"_

 _There's a silence, before the ice cracks again, louder than before. It feels like it's happening right below_ me, _like I could fall through the ice at any moment. I hear a splash, then the girl cries out. "Jack!"_

 _But then it goes silent. I hear nothing after that. I always wait a moment, but then I realize that I should probably get back to my brother. But I always find the time to come back. Sometimes I sneak out at night, come and stand at the lake, bathed in moonlight. There's something here, something about this place. It's connected to the strange things happening in this town. So are those voices. I just know it._

 _Now I just need to figure out_ how.

* * *

 _I was watching my brother play with the other kids. I didn't go to the lake like I usually do. Mrs. Bennett, who usually watches the kids, had to go grocery shopping. So, I stayed with the kids. I played with them, building forts, making snowmen. We had a snowball fight, as well. They kept calling out to Jack Frost, as they usually do. There still was no one there._

 _The thing was, I heard laughter. Not the laughter of the children. It was someone else, someone I didn't know._

 _But I knew that laughter. I heard it often. It was the laughter of the boy's voice at the pond. Jack. I only heard it in short bursts, and there was no trace of the girl's voice. The laugh almost always followed a snowball flying from nowhere- I was hit by then quite a few times._

 _After the very first snowball hit me, though, the mystery seemed unimportant. It stayed in the back of my mind. All I could think about was the fun._

 _Not that I'm complaining. It was the most fun I've had in a while. I needed that. I needed time relax. I've been rather stressed, with the Christmas season at the grocery store, as well as taking care of my brother._

 _But, now I'm starting to wonder. Could this voice I heard, the 'Jack' that the kids talk about, be connected to the voices I hear at the lake?_

 _I don't know. But I do know that I'm getting closer to figuring out this mystery_.

* * *

The Man in the Moon saw everything. He knew what happened between the Guardians and the mortal girl. He knew how close she had become to Jack, and how much it destroyed him when he lost her.

But, the Man knew more. He knew that Jack had to finish the journal. There were things that Jack needed to know about her, information that could only be found in the pages.

If Jack was ever going to be really okay, he needed to finish the journal. And the world needed Jack Frost to be okay.

 **A/N- I love writing this story. I'm having so much fun with it.**

 **On another note, I have Christmas songs stuck in my head. Like. Seriously. So many Christmas songs.**

 **It all started with _Christmas Wrapping._ Which is a good song, but really. My History teacher tried to get the songs out of my head because I was complaining about it- and humming. (He has a _ton_ of history-related earworms.) Didn't work. (Thank _God._ I'll take Christmas music over history music any day. XD)**

 **Also, it's almost December! Yaay! I'm always in such a happy mood in December. Like, really, it is _so_ hard to make me upset. I love December. It's all holidays-y, and my birthday is on the tenth. It's just a very happy time for me. XD**

 **Well, until next time, fave, follow, review, and PM me!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N- *whispers* guys... guys... guess what...**

 ***Yells* IT'S MAH BIRFDAY!**

 ***confetti rains down* *parade marches in* *music plays***

 **haha no. I'm not that popular. I literally only have, like, three friends coming over today. XD It's okay, though, I'm still happy and shit.**

 **Reviews!**

 **WinterCrystal1009: Thanks! Honestly, I don't think I'm all that good XD But I'm glad you think so! Yeah, I fixed the formatting in the last chapter. Sorry, it usually saves my formatting, I don't know why it didn't this time. As for the sister thing, I... hadn't thought of that. XD You're better at writing my stories than I am! My history teacher is a pain, too, but he's still my favorite. (He had a diagram written on the board once. When I left, we had erased most of it- that was part of the activity- but when I came back to the classroom- I have him for 2 subjects- then it was all different colors. So I made him let me fix it. Then he changed something, JUST OFF THE GODDAMNED CENTER! XD I didn't let him start class until I could fix it, I was literally** ** _glaring at the board_** **and muttering about how much it bothered me. XD) We watched the Patriot, too. I loved that movie, especially the big battle at the end. It actually inspired another story of mine, but I haven't posted that one anywhere. As for the spacing, I don't mind. Yeah, it's kind of annoying the way that they have the commenting set up.**

 **Wooooowww... that long of a response to** ** _one review._** **XD Like, seriously, guys, I cannot reply to all these messages. *note the voice drowning in sarcasm***

 **Disclaimer: I don't own ROTG.**

"What are we going to do?" North asked, looking at the Globe. A few of the lights were going out, though most of them were still going strong. Jack hadn't done his job in months.

Tooth sighed. All the Guardians were there- except Jack. He was holed up in what had pretty much become his room. "I don't think there's anything we can do."

Sand made a series of symbols above his head, the message of which was clear to all the Guardians. _We can only be here for him._

* * *

 _I have had Christmas songs. Stuck in my head. All. Freaking. Week. I've been humming, singing, all the time. Granted, it's kept me in a very festive mood. I've been able to keep a smile on, even through all of the absolutely_ ridiculous _questions from the customers. (And there have been some dreadfully_ idiotic _questions.)_

 _My brother is at Jamie's again. So, after a simple dinner, I went to the lake again._

 _It was different this time. I didn't hear the voices, not the conversation nor any laughter. I stood in my spot, for what had to be at least twenty minutes. When I realized they weren't coming, I sat. Right on the ice. It was freezing, but it didn't register. I began to hum. To sing. Those songs that have been stuck in my head. And there, in the winter magic of the lake, I was caught in the spell._

 _That was when I saw it. Out of the corner of my eyes, a flash of blue. It was in the tree. But when I looked over, I didn't see anything. Then, the same thing that happened the very first time I came to the lake happened. The swirls of ice, the patterns in the frost._

 _I stayed a while after that, but the cold had set in. I had had to leave. Plus, I had been getting tired. Even writing this, I'm fighting to keep my eyes open._

 _That in mind, I'm not certain if this next event actually happened, or if it is simply a fabrication of my overworked mind. Either option is likely, but I have a strong feeling it was the former._

 _As I was leaving the lake, there was a voice, whispering in the wind. The same voice I heard laughing with the kids, the same boy I often hear on the lake._

 _Quiet as the murmur of the breeze in a snowfall, I heard him ask "Why don't you believe?"_

* * *

 _It's almost Christmas. In fact, it is two days away. I have my present for my brother, a small snowglobe. I know that he loves things like these. (I will say, it is a pain to wrap, though!)_

 _I have not been to the lake, nor have I heard the laughter. I have seen a few spontaneous ice paths, but nothing much. We've had a lot of snow, though._

 _A part of me is strangely sad at the loss of this magic._

* * *

Jack smiled, thinking about that Christmas. But the moon was high in the sky, and not doing his job was taking its toll. He was tired, and sleep soon had him in its grasp.

 **A/N- Yes, this chapter is short. But I have the next one coming soon, I just need to fix it up in the doc manager. (In all actuality, this one was supposed to be posted the first day of December, but I couldn't figure out how to lengthen it. I don't feel bad now because I have another chapter coming next. XD)**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N- Guys I'm back. XD**

 **Long time no see, eh?**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own ROTG.**

 _They say that there is a magic about Christmas. As a child, you are told about the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus. Tooth Fairy and Sandman. And, of course, Jack Frost. But, as you grow older, you also grow out of these stories. You stop believing in them. Which I think is a terrible thing. I think we should always believe in our stories. All stories are real. After all, I believe that stories are where memories go when they are forgotten._

 _That is not to say that I did not fall victim to this tradition. I stopped believing in fairytales when I was very young. But I was always enchanted by magic, loved stories of fantastic lands, and dreamed of adventure. I suppose that is what made it easier for me._

 _Just a few hours ago was Christmas. I am writing this at about two in the morning. But I can't sleep. Not now._

 _Christmas at the Bennet's was lovely. My brother and I exchanged presents before we went over, had a simple breakfast together. Then we went to the Bennet's gave and received presents with them. My brother and I played with Jamie and Sophie in the snow._

 _The children were talking, though, to this 'Jack Frost' again. I finally asked Jamie about it, and he told me his story. Of how he helped Jack, the Easter Bunny, the Sandman, Santa, and the Tooth Fairy defeat Pitch Black, the evil Boogeyman who wanted to rule the world in fear and darkness. Most would feel it to be just a story. But it couldn't have been. It_ felt _real._

 _Much later, after everyone went to bed- only two hours ago, for me- I found myself awake. Unable to sleep. So, I went for a walk. I went to the pond. Not fully by choice, I believe. It felt like I was being led there. It was beautiful, shining in the moonlight with whites and silvers, the snow glistening._

 _There was a boy there. A boy, hair white as snow and skin pale as ice. He had only a sweatshirt, torn pants. No shoes. But he didn't seem cold. He carried a staff in his hand, intricate swirls of ice decorating near where his hand touched it. He tapped the staff to the surface of the pond and frost spun out in all directions, painting beautiful pictures, just as I had seen countless times before._

 _I didn't say anything, but it didn't take him long to notice me. He turned, giving me a sad smile, before returning to his task. It was then that he spoke, but it seemed he was speaking more to himself than to me._

" _What brings you out this late?" he asked. I recognized his voice. It was the same voice I had heard countless times before, the voice of the boy that I had come to think of as the Ghost of the Lake. "You should be asleep." He laughed. "Not that me saying this makes any difference. You can't hear me anyway. I kinda hoped you would have. You seemed like the kind of person who would, even if you're an adult."_

 _I hadn't known what to do when I saw him. I stood there for what had to have been at least a full minute, before I had been able to breath out two simple words that have probably changed my life. "Jack Frost?"_

 _He seemed extremely surprised. He had hesitated for half a second, before running- it actually seemed more like flying, it didn't appear his feet touched the ground- over to me. He and I stared at each other for a moment, before he whispered to me, a single question that seemed to mean the world. "You can see me?"_

 _I didn't say anything. It didn't seem right. My reply had been a simple nod and a smile, something that, in retrospect, seemed inadequate, but felt as though it fit the moment at the time._

 _He laughed, that laugh that I heard with the children so many times, but never seemed to have a source. He hugged me then- it seemed hesitant, though, as though he was unused to it- and his touch was icy cold. The freezing temperatures made everything seem so much more real. As much as my mind told me that this was impossible, my heart told me that it was happening. This boy before me was Jack Frost. But what about the others? They were real, too, as Jack assured me._

 _We sat and spoke for about an hour, but the cold began to get to me. Jack had noticed before I did, saw me shivering. I honestly hadn't noticed it until he pointed it out. But, once he did, he made me go home. We both knew that we would see each other again. And now, I am sitting, awake in the guest room of the Bennet's, unable to sleep._

 _Some might think that this has all been a dream. I'm not entirely sure, myself. Perhaps that's why I'm writing, so I can see it in the morning and know this happened. If it's not here, I'll know it was a dream._

 _I am almost certain that I will see these words written on these pages when I come back to this journal. And I know that I will relive that night for as long as I live._

Jack smiled, remembering that night. It felt like so long ago, but it really wasn't. Only about five months, at this point. Five weeks with her, that was it. But so much had happened during that short time. So many wonderful things. It had been amazing. He had spent three hundred years alone, three hundred years not being able to interact with anyone other than the occasional spirit. Even the Man in the Moon was always silent. But now, it felt as though there was never a time that he hadn't known her. And now that she was gone, every day felt like an eternity.

 **A/N- Yay, she believes now! All is happy in the kingdom!**

 **So, I went to a Harry Potter Yule Ball at my bookstore yesterday. I got a chocolate frog, a poster, and a little ink and pen set thing. XD It was fun, though. Talked to some random people for about an hour, no clue where my mother was. XD It was great, they were in all the same fandoms as me!**

 **Sooo... Imma be honest... I wrote out a chapter from a future scene (as I do. It's how I work with the story lines- write a bunch of random scenes and connect them all together) and I freaking** ** _cried_** **. But don't worry, that chapter is far off. For now, enjoy the happiness. XD**

 **Until next time, fave, follow, review, and PM me!**


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